September 9, 2025 | Issue Archive
Videos | Speaking | Blog | Course | Book
Yesterday morning, I opened our daughter’s backpack and found an award tucked inside:
Effort is a big point of emphasis in our house—results are out of your control, but effort is not—so Megan and I celebrated the recognition and told AJ how proud we were. Her face lit up for a moment—until she said:
“Yeah, but two other kids have already gotten it twice.”
And just like that, the joy was gone. Swallowed up in comparison and quiet defeat.
Sound familiar?
You win the pitch… but wish you’d landed a bigger one.
You meet a goal… but someone else hit it sooner.
You finally take a bold step… and wonder if it’s too small.
This isn’t a character flaw. It’s how your brain is wired.
It reminded me of my interview with Dr. Rick Hanson years ago, when he talked about how our brain is wired with what neuroscientists call a negativity bias—a survival mechanism designed to scan for threats, not soak up joy.
In his words:
“The brain is like Velcro for bad experiences and Teflon for good ones.”
— Dr. Rick Hanson
That’s why we’re more likely to recognize what’s missing than what’s present.
To counteract the negativity bias, we have to be intentional about focusing on and “installing” positive experiences for 10-30 seconds to build neural pathways of well-being. If you don’t work to hold onto what’s beautiful, your brain won’t automatically do it for you.
So this week, I’m taking a moment to celebrate AJ—and to honor her effort.
And I’m inviting you to do the same...
Pause right now and ask:
👉 What’s good in your life that you’ve brushed past too quickly?
👉 What win, progress, or glimmer of joy deserves more of your attention?
Now here’s the key:
- Name it. (“I did a hard thing. I showed up.”)
- Feel it. Let it land. Even just for 10 seconds.
- Anchor it. Say it out loud or write it down.
You just installed the good.
It’s not just mindset—it’s neuroscience. And it’s how we rewire ourselves to be present, resilient, and whole.
THIS ENDS NOW
Identify one habit, belief, or behavior that’s no longer serving you—and let it go.
The story: “It’s not enough.”
The cost: Never feeling like you’re winning.
THIS MOMENT MATTERS
One simple, actionable step to take to create a ripple effect of change in your life.
Today, I choose to celebrate ______________.
It may not be perfect. It may not be repeatable.
But it’s real. And it deserves my full presence.
If you want to take the “installation” process a step further, hit reply and let me know what you’re celebrating this week. I’ll join with you. After all, Community is the force multiplier! 😉
Up we go—