April 8, 2026 | Issue Archive
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Default Is Not Destiny
THE MOMENT
I once heard someone say:
"Travel with my spouse is a vacation. Travel with my kids is a trip."
I didn't fully appreciate that… until last week.
We just got back from a spring break cruise. Three kids. Five days. Every meal, every excursion, every "what are we doing next?" and "I don't want to do that!"—managed, coordinated, absorbed.
That's not rest. That's work—so our kids could have the time of their lives.
It's what we do as parents. (And I certainly didn't do it perfectly. That's a story for another day.)
This wasn't a vacation.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
This was a trip. With a mission.
The kids absolutely did have the time of their lives. And I loved witnessing it. That part was genuinely beautiful.
Here's why I'm sharing this—and why I almost didn't:
Because gratitude is real. We're very fortunate to be able to do something like this. I know that.
But somewhere along the way, I picked up a belief:
If I acknowledge the weight of something… it means I'm not grateful for it.
That's not true.
And most of the leaders I know are living inside that same lie.
You call it a vacation and come home more depleted than when you left.
You call it a great quarter and ignore what it cost you to deliver it.
You call it "fine" when it isn't.
Not because you're dishonest—because you've learned to manage perception, including your own.
That's not strength. That's a survival default.
And default is not destiny.
THE ENDING
End the mislabel.
Not the experience. The label you put on it that prevents you from recovering honestly.
When we mislabel something, we rob ourselves of the ability to respond to it accurately.
You can't recover from a trip by resting like it was a vacation. You can't lead through a crisis by pretending it's business as usual. You can't address what you won't accurately name.
So here's a simple way to practice this:
First—catch it.
👉🏼 What are you calling this moment?
Then—check it.
👉🏼 Is that actually true… or just more comfortable?
Finally—change it.
👉🏼 Name it accurately—even if it's inconvenient.
Because Clarity—the second of the 5 C's—isn't about being positive.
It's about being honest.
And honest leaders make better decisions.
So here's the question worth sitting with this week:
What in your life are you mislabeling right now—and what is that costing you?
UP WE GO
Grateful for the trip.
Grateful for Megan—who made this trip possible in more ways than I can count.
Our kids wanted to stay on the ship.
I was ready to get home.
Both things were true.
And neither canceled the other.
That's the lesson.
Up we go—
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