Hello, my friend,
I'd like to share something about what I've been feeling lately, not because what I'm feeling should matter so much to you, but because I hope that in sharing what I'm feeling, perhaps I can bear witness to what you've felt yourself—whether recently or presently.
I speak about navigating change and adapting and thriving in the midst of ever-changing circumstances, but I have a confession to make...
I don't like change.
I don't always do well with change.
Change is hard for me.
So why in the world do I speak about it?
I believe author and philosopher Richard Bach nailed it when he said:
"We teach best what we most need to learn."
That's it.
I don't speak because I have it all figured out. I speak because I've figured out some things that are worth figuring out... and every day I'm on the journey of figuring them out.
A few weeks ago, my fiancée, Megan, and I moved into a new home with our three kids. It's something we've both been looking forward to for quite some time, and it came to be sooner than we had imagined. I'm very, very grateful. For her. For us. For this home.
At the same time, the adjustment has been challenging at times. It's a big change... for both of us. For all of us.
It was just over a year ago that I left Nashville, the city of my childhood dreams... where I had lived since 1994.
It was a big change coming to Ohio.
Then, a big change from living on my own for the last seven years, just me and my son, to living with a partner and two more kids.
I am grateful for all of it... and... it has challenged me.
It challenges me daily as I (and we) adapt to new schedules, new routines, new dynamics...
It's brought to mind a phrase I heard several years ago: "good grief."
I'm sure you've heard that phrase before, too. Maybe you've said it. Usually in a moment of exasperation. "Good grief!" (Right?!)
But, it can also express something very different.
On this occasion years ago, a teacher was talking about the grieving that comes with change... even good change.
In this case, he was talking about his son graduating from high school and going to college.
He was doing something good... and yet with it, for the parents, came grief.
He referred to this as good grief.
I've been experiencing a bit of that lately, I believe.
There is a grieving process to leaving a town that held so many memories... leaving a way of life that had become predictably unpredictable to me...
Even though what I've stepped into is beautiful and amazing—a gift—there's still a "good grief" that comes with it.
That's not a sign something is wrong. It's a sign of life. Of growth. Of movement. Of change.
In order to move forward, we must let go of the past.
And we should be kind and gentle with ourselves—and with others—in the process.
One of my favorite mantras applies here:
"This is part of it."
Anytime you're transitioning from an ending to a new beginning, there will be a sense of loss. You may be happy to trade what was lost for what you're gaining... but it's still loss. And with loss comes grief.
That's a part of change that we must not ignore.
How do you not ignore it? You allow it.
Have you felt it before? Now perhaps?
I'd love to hear your experience if you'd like to share. Have you found any reliable strategies for dealing with this "good grief"?
Wishing you well wherever you find yourself today.
Up we go—
P.S. Another necessity for adapting and thriving in times of change? Courage. Need a jolt of it today? Watch this 90-second clip from my recent keynote!
Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
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